02-12-25 / Intense
a lot of feelings. strong love, strong frustration, intense joy and intense sadness. i saw with my eyes and really felt it , got my fingers in the feeling and really squeezed. it was soft and spiny.
my great aunt came and left. she is nice, she said to me ‘i really like gaby, she’s a keeper’ and i felt like she was the only person to say that. everyone else likes gaby, but i have been waiting for that phrase. we embroidered together and watched crummy youtube hallmark films. she asked what kind of music i like and i blanked. she is into slow rock. gotta love my great aunt linda.
i made another playlist cover. im going for childish and frustrated. because that was this whole month. i felt like running away, or causing a scene, or going to bed early, or skipping work. which i did and it was nice because i bought a three gallon tub of ice cream and ate it over a week while watching buffy and sobbing. some days you just need to take of work.
im meant to be applying for colleges. but i dont want to. i mean, i had the last kiddish sleepover of my life this month, and i expect myself to just keep going ? idk.
anyways. i am meant to be doing 10 other things, i keep over-commiting myself and then not wanting to do things. i know my issues. i need to keep thinking to survive, and constant projects keep me thinking.
i hope i get to see my friends soon and get a haircut . my bangs are in my eyes
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